Flutter
by LolalynA
Summary: She wrung her hands as her eyes followed his retreating back. She never thought he would be the one to make her heart Flutter. After a broken marriage leaves Bella a single mother and her entwined friendships with her ex-husband leave her to watch as he falls in love again will Bella be able to find her own happiness? Will she ever find someone that will make her believe in love?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters.

A/N: Bear with me, It's been a while.

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The moon looked bigger, the breeze cooler, that night.

She shivered and rubbed at her arms absently. Her gaze solely focused on the bright yellow orb, her mind elsewhere.

He approached her with little sound. The silk specks of sand caressing his strong feet. Bright orange flecks of fire blowing away from the cigarette placed surely in the crease of his middle and forefinger.

She felt him. Even without looking, she knew it was him. A remnant of their broken imprint. And silently waited. She needed his soothing words just as he needed her comforting silence. She would wait.

Until he spoke, with a gruff grunt.

She turned and shook her head at his offered cigarette. He nodded, respecting the celibacy she's continued since her child was born.

"It's not you Bella" he started

She snorted, he expected as much.

"Stop"

"Stop what?" She wondered

"Stop thinking it's you" he took a drag, enjoying the warmth it provided in his chest "it's not" he breathed out

"Yeah" she sighed defeated

"Bella" he sighed "he's a fucking asshole"

She shrugged "it doesn't matter anymore" she shook her head "we're over" she finally turned to him "we were over a long time ago, but now..." she shrugged again

Silence over took them

"What makes me so un-fucking desirable?" She inquired suddenly, catching him off guard as he dug the butt of the cigarette into the sand.

"You're not undesirable Bella, you just have shitty picking skills" he stated honestly, he wasn't expecting her outburst.

"Bullshit Paul!" She screamed "I'm fucking ruined! Ever since Edward I've been ruined!" She screamed "now Jacob and now I'm really fucked. I might as well spend the rest of my life alone" she stated

"Edward was a 117 year old dead body who manipulated you like a marionette baby, and Jacob is a fucking idiotic whiny asswipe who can't tell his ass from his head" Paul snorted "you'll be fine" he stated "besides, you said so yourself. That marriage was over"

Bella shook her head. Paul Sighed, cursing Black for hurting Bella before pulling the petite woman into his embrace "you'll find someone who will be so much better for you Bella"

"Paul, who's going to want all this baggage"

Paul snorted "you know who"

And Bella did, but that wasn't an option. Bella shook her head "stop" she whispered

"Bella that boy has been head over heels for you since he met you, fuck baby, I'm surprised He wasn't the one that imprinted on you"

"And he's exactly as you said Paul, a boy, I'm a 30 year old woman, I will not ruin his youth"

"It was a figure of speech Bell, he ain't no kid honey, he's a 25 year old who has more than manly thoughts about you" Paul tapped his temple "I would know"

"Oh shut up" she pleaded softly, no malice in her words as her shoulders dropped and she hugged him tighter. Silence enveloped them as they stared out into the depth of the night.

She pulled away from him slowly before dropping onto the sand at his feet. He followed soon after and laid his feet out onto the sand. He watched the waves crash into each other, glancing at her out if the corner of his eye every so often.

She sighed deeply and wondered "would things have been different?" She wondered absentmindedly and looked at him in wonder.

He quirked an eyebrow in question, she turned towards him, laying her cheek against her raised knee "if we had relied on the imprint" she said softly "If it was never broken... would it have been different, do you think?"

She gave him time as he pondered her question. His mind deep in thought as he mulled over the question he had asked himself at least a dozen times. Would it have been different? If they hadn't broken the imprint would she be in a midst of a divorce, not with Jacob, but with himself? Would he be going through the loss of his unborn child, not with Rachel, but with her? Or would they be happy? He didn't know. He didn't know if he would want to with her. He loved her, he'd always love her. And he'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of the possibilities. But would it be different? He wasn't so sure. "Probably" he said finally "but we would be just as unhappy" he said softly, surely.

She nodded. She too loved him, always. Being next to Paul was silence. It was calm. It was storm and lightning and red like the fire burning under his skin. But most of all it was safe. Bella was never one to be complacent with safe. She too had wondered what they would have been like. But she too knew their characters could not handle each other in a relationship.

He let out a long breath "Rachel's going to Hawaii" he said "she's going to go stay with Rebecca for a while"

"How long is a while?" She asked softly

He shrugged. His hand clenched at the sand beneath them, fingers itching for the warmth of another cigarette "it's best" he said "she's not happy...and neither am I" he admitted. She nodded and grabbed his hand, squeezing it into her smaller one. "Who would've thought it right?" she laughed humorlessly "we both got dumped by the Black's" she shook her head and dropped his hand to hug her knees again. Her mind reeled as the images of that day played out in her mind. "It was my first day back as work today" she started. He shifted uncomfortably, as if feeling her own discomfort.

"I know baby, you don't have to tell me" he soothed her

she shook her head "No" he voice broke "I have to" she waved her hands at her face in attempt to dry the oncoming tears. It was no use. "God knows the pack will be as curious as ever and I don't want to have to repeat this" she reasoned and he understood and let her start over

"It was my first day back at work, we'd already worked it all out. He would watch Sophia on days he wasn't patrolling or working and Sue would watch her when he was. He wasn't going into work that day, he wanted to stay with Sophia. I went to work and" she shook her head, tears falling freely "I missed her so much so I ended up going home early" she swallowed thickly "I get home and there's a car in the garage. I don't recognize it. I get inside the house and Sophia is wailing. I pick her up and I find Jake...he was in the garage with some girl" She sobbed and closed her eyes.

She could still replay the memory in her head. Could still feel Sophia clutched to her chest as she witnessed Jacob pull away from the woman who immediately started dressing herself. 'Sorry' playing on his lips like a broken record as her mind went blank with surprise. Understanding. Hurt. Anger. She could almost feel the hammer she grabbed from his work station in her grip before she threw it at him.

She shook her head. Clearing the unwanted memories. She hadn't realized Paul had pulled her into his chest again. "We haven't been doing good" she cried, though she knew she did not have to. The pack had already known. "Since before Sophia was born we were...fucked" she sobbed "We were getting along better though. After everything with Sophia..." she cried. Betrayal hurt. "I don't want him anywhere near me Paul. Please keep him away. Please" she pleaded and his own heart broke for her. He held her like she held him when he had lost his own child. "I will honey. He won't come near you" Over his dead body will Jacob Black step foot into Bella's home...or her broken heart again.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: Couldn't upload last week, but, here ya go. Please review so I know what you guys and gals think.

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She shook her head to clear her mind as it wandered off for the fiftieth time that day. Her throat cleared and she took a sip of the water that had laid untouched on her desk as she looked at the five year old in front of her. His worksheet clutched to his chest, his eyes wide as he hopped from one foot to the other with anxiety. "I'm sorry Kameron, can you say that again" she requested and tried to focus on the jumbled words spilling out of the kindergartener's mouth.

"I really gotta go potty Ms. Black" her eyes shut tight at her last name "I'm a peed on myself" he urged

"Come on Kam, put your worksheet on Ms. Black's desk and you can pick it up when we get back from the bathroom"

"Ok Ms. Wood" he stated in relief before promptly dropping his spelling practice worksheet and running out of the room after Angela, who had thrown Bella a concerned glance over her shoulder.

She sighed and focused on her lessons laid out in front of her. She had been all over the place for a good week…ever since- No, she huffed, refusing to think about it again….to ponder on Jacob again. She scoffed internally before frowning externally. She shook her head again and sighed. Because she knew that it did hurt her, regardless of how many times she had denied it to herself… to her friends… the pack. It still hurt. She and Jacob were a ticking time bomb, she had known that much, but he had still been her best friend, regardless of how horrible their relationship had been. And his betrayal was something she had never expected. She knew they were headed for a divorce…she just didn't expect it to go the way it did.

Angela walked back into the room with a bouncing Kameron who gingerly picked up his worksheet and hurried back to his desk. She stared at Angela who stared back with a knowing look. "Bella" Angela said softly "You have to get your mind out of there" Angela sighed and squeezed her shoulder "I need you here, girl"

She let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding and nodded "I'm sorry" she murmured to her teacher's assistant, low enough that the children's curious ears would not hear "It's just been a long week" And it had been. After she had spoken to Paul that Monday, the days grew progressively longer. Jacob wouldn't leave her alone and showed up at her-_**their**_, home every other hour in attempts to speak with her. She'd had to call Paul who essentially got Sam to order Jacob to stay away. Something, she knew had been of Sam's free-will as he did not interfere with personal matters. Emily had told Bella, Sam had been feeling a little vindictive on her part where Jacob was concerned. So he had consented to the alpha order. Not that it did much, because Jacob then started texting, calling, emailing. That's when she had decided to put the divorce papers in and had taken time out of her lunch periods and afternoons to file them in Port Angeles. She was almost positive he had not received them yet, though he would soon enough.

Her mind wandered to Sophia, the six month old was currently at Sue's, who was patiently and helpfully acting as the neutral party. Bella would drop Sophia at Sue's, Jacob would pick her up, vice versa.

"Bella" Angela huffed "one more hour and it's officially Friday" she said "then we can hit Heritages and get drunk off our asses, I swear" she pleaded "we're going to forget all about Jacob Black"

And she did. Kind of. Not really, because a few hours later found her knocking over a margarita onto a college kid at the bar who had been trying to flirt with her. A burning hand pulled her away as she muttered apologies to the cursing 20-something year old as he dabbed at his crotch full of strawberry margarita slush "He's fine Bella!" Leah Clearwater laughed

"Nooo Leah, I totally gave him frozen balls **and** lost my drink!" she cried before squinting her eyes at Leah as she stumbled back over to the booth off of the dance floor "Hey! When did you get here?"

Leah laughed as she tried to brush Bella's disheveled hair away from her face "We met you guys here! Remember?" she prompted and Bella really didn't "maybe not" Leah sighed "Look, no more drinks for you, that's enough"

"Wait, no I remember"

"You do?" Leah asked in surprise

"We came here, I'm trying to forget Jacob Black and it's my first night out in like a year!" Bella smiled as her mind grew less fuzzy. Her smile dropped and her eyes flashed with pure anger "Fucking Jacob, Bro. I could wring his neck and claw his eyeballs, Lorena Bobbitt his ass!" she slashed her hands at Leah in a karate pose, one of them accidentally hitting Leah's boob "oops" she dropped her hands "I think I'm done drinking" she sighed and followed Leah back to where Josie and Karen were waiting for them. Emily and Kim hadn't been able to make it, they were still breast feeding their little ones and hadn't wanted to interrupt their feeding schedule. Bella grew sad as she thought of Sophia, her hands unconsciously wrapping around her breasts. She had wanted to breast feed, but Jacob and the hospital had started feeding her formula before Bella's anesthesia had worn off, now Sophia wouldn't get off the bottle, regardless of how much Bella had tried. She was ready to be done with the night and head over to Sue and Charlies where her daughter was surely being dotted on by her grandparents.

The girls noticed their friends' demeanor instantly change and decided it was time to go sober Bella up before taking her to Charlie and Sue's. So half an hour later found them at the Forks Diner feeding her copious amounts of fattening foods that Bella would normally shy away from.

"Bell, how's Soph doing" Josie asked, her furious British accent smacking Bella's still tender ears after the pumping bar music had left her partially deaf.

"She's doing really good Josie, we had a checkup last week and the doctor said she's in the 70 percentile for her weight and her lungs are stabilizing after treatment. He says we might expect some asthma in the future, but for now she's as perfect as can be" Bella smiled fondly

"That's great Bell" Karen said, popping a fry in her mouth.

Bella thanked her friends as she tried not to remember the bought of anxiety that tended to ravage her mind when she remembered Sophie's birth. Her baby girl was doing so well now, but she had been born at 7 months and had a low birth weight and her lungs hadn't completely developed. Sophie had been on a ventilator and just when things had started to look upwards Sophie had acquired neonatal respiratory distress syndrome and had been in the NICU for close to four months. Now, at 6 months, with treatments, prayers, and love Sophie was stable and reaching all of her milestones. The doctors had mentioned possible complications that were rare, but possible.

Bella didn't want to think about that right now. So Bella soothed her anxiety away with a deep breath. Only the deep calming breath came out of her like a volcano exhaling a fiery lashing of anger. Because at that moment, Jacob walked into the Diner…with _her._


End file.
